(Disclaimers, Terms & Conditions of Use, Confidentiality Agreement, Limitation of Liability, etc. - collectively: AGREEMENT with Ken Pellman regarding Internet / WWW / Usenet / Newsgroup / Comments / Discussions / Blogs / Instant Messages / Text Messages / E-mails, etc., a.k.a. "Don't attack my site, page, blog, Facebook, or Twitter account, steal from it, make unauthorized copies, try to get me fired from my job, assume we speak for anyone else, assume we agree with anyone else, take us to court for having a site or online presence, rely on this site or my online presence for important information, etc.")
Some people have questioned the need for such a lengthy AGREEMENT, but we have found through experience that this AGREEMENT is indeed necessary for protection and clarification.
DEFINITION OF TERMS FOR THIS AGREEMENT
Defining these terms shall not limit their spirit or denotation, nor exclude their common denotation. Definitions are provided for the sake of clarity and emphasis.
For the purposes of this AGREEMENT:
"AGREEMENT" shall refer to the text of this page and the intended meaning(s) thereof.
"KEN PELLMAN", shall refer to a specific private, natural individual person, resident of Anaheim, California, U.S.A, citizen of The United States of America, known as Ken or Kenneth Pellman, and his usernames and handles. In this AGREEMENT and DOCUMENT, "I", "ME", "KEN", "HE", "HIS", and "MY" shall refer to KEN PELLMAN.
"CONTENT" shall include, but not me limited to: artwork, beliefs, comments, data, experiences, expressions, feelings, files, humor, ideas, images, information, items, materials, opinions, pages, pictures, policies, products, statements, terms, themes and/or thoughts.
"DOCUMENT" shall include, but is not limited to, Ken's Very Own Piece of the Web(TM) anything found at or on this site; anything with "http://www.Pellman.com", "http://www.Pellman.net", "http://www.Pellman.org", "http://www.kenversations.com", "http://www.kenversations.net", "http://www.flash.net/~kpellman", "http://home.flash.net/~kpellman", "http://kori-and-ken.blogspot.com", "http://pellman.blogspot.com", "http://www.facebook.com/pellman", or "http://www.twitter.com/pellman" as part of or the entirety of the Uniform Resource Locator (URL) at which it is found or anything uploaded, written, posted, transmitted, or copyrighted by "KEN PELLMAN", "Ken Pellman", "kpellman[at]flash[dot]net", "email@example.com", "kpsfh[at]flash[dot]net", "kpellman[at]hwsys[dot]com", any of KEN PELLMAN's "flash.net" or "yahoo.com" accounts, texting accounts, instant messaging accounts, chats, discussion boards, or comment areas, or any variation, stage name, pseudonym, handle, or representation thereof; any CONTENT of such items.
"STORE AND/OR SHARE", and any varying form or tense thereof, shall include, but not be limited to: alter, archive, bookmark, communicate, convey, copy, disclose, discuss, display, disseminate, distribute, document, download, duplicate, file, pass, perform, photograph, post, print, read, record, relay, release, reproduce, republish, retain, reveal, summarize, transfer, transmit, and/or upload.
"USING", and any varying form or tense thereof, shall include, but not be limited to: accessing, downloading, experiencing, listening to, reading, receiving, STORING AND/OR SHARING, viewing, and/or visiting.
"YOU" and "YOUR" shall refer to the individual USING the DOCUMENT.
"AGENT" shall include, but not be limited to: acquaintance, advisor, affiliate, agent, associate, benefactor, client, confident, contact, contractor, contributor, customer, director, distributor, employee, executive, financier, franchisee, friend, investor, licensee, manager, officer, official, operative, owner, partner, protectorate, representative, shareholder, and/or ward.
"RETALIATION" shall include, but be limited to: blacklisting, demotion, disciplinary action, harassment, incarceration, intimidation, legal action, oppression, repression, reprimand, retaliation, suspension, termination, and/or employment discrimination.
DISCLAIMER OF ASSOCIATION OR REPRESENTATION
This DOCUMENT, unless otherwise clearly stated, is not affiliated with any entity other than KEN PELLMAN. This DOCUMENT is NOT affiliated with Disney Enterprises, Inc., The Walt Disney Company, or any of the affiliates, associates, divisions, properties, or subsidiaries thereof, commonly referred to as "Disney", nor is it a press release by said company, nor am I in any way a spokesperson or official representative of said company. This DOCUMENT is NOT affiliated with the County of Los Angeles, or any of the Departments thereof, henceforth referred to as "The County", nor is it a press release by said government, nor am I acting in any way as a spokesperson or official representative for said government through this DOCUMENT.
To visit Disney's official site, click HERE. The visit The County's official site, click HERE. If you are looking for information about Amish quilting, you've reached the wrong Ken Pellman.
KEN PELLMAN maintains this DOCUMENT on HIS own time, with HIS own money, from HIS own home, using HIS own personal equipment and account. HE may do work for YOU if asked nicely and paid a lot, but this DOCUMENT is not representing YOU or any entity YOU work for.
KEN PELLMAN does not necessarily endorse any particular aspect of the linked pages or sites. Links are presented for entertainment or research purposes only, as a courtesy, and linking or retweeting shall not be construed as an endorsement, confirmation, guarantee, agreement with, or support of the content reached by using the link, nor of the entities responsible for the linked sites and pages.
©1994,1998-2002, 2007, 2011 KEN PELLMAN, all rights reserved. This DOCUMENT, published anywhere at any time in any medium, in part or in whole, in code or otherwise, may not, in any way, shape, or form or by any method, be further STORED AND/OR SHARED without the prior, distinct, express written, uncoerced permission of a sober and sound-minded KEN PELLMAN or unless otherwise stated clearly in writing within the DOCUMENT.
All terms and items that are propriety, trademarks, copyrights, service marks, and the like, including, but not limited to, "Disneyland", "Walt Disney World", "The Magic Kingdom", and other terms and items used in this DOCUMENT remain the property of their respective legal owners and are used just like newspapers use them. KEN PELLMAN retains ownership of any and all CONTENT presented in this DOCUMENT that is not owned by someone else. Don't go stealing KEN's stuff, okay?
TERMS & CONDITIONS OF USE
By USING, in any way, this DOCUMENT, in any form or medium, by any method, in whole or part, you indicate that you have read and completely, fully, and thoroughly understand and agree to all of the terms, conditions, and statements in this AGREEMENT, including, but not limited to:
1. In the event YOU do not understand and agree with and to this entire AGREEMENT, YOU will promptly leave and forget that YOU were ever here, completely, totally, and thoroughly deleting, erasing, and/or removing all traces and portions of this DOCUMENT from your equipment, files, presence, and possession. Ignoring or failing to read this AGREEMENT shall be considered as full agreement with it and consent to it.
2. Only natural individuals who meet the criteria expressed within this AGREEMENT may USE this DOCUMENT.
3. YOU are not an AGENT, or family member or domestic partner of an AGENT, of the AFL-CIO, Service Employees International Union, Disney Enterprises, Inc., The Walt Disney Company, The County of Los Angeles, or any of the affiliates, agents, associates, clients, departments, divisions, subsidiaries, or suppliers thereof, including, but not limited to, The Walt Disney World Company, Walt Disney Attractions, Walt Disney Parks and Resorts, The Disneyland Resort, Disneyland Park, Disneyland Resort Security, Disneyland Resort Internal Investigations, Disneyland Theme Park Operations, Disneyland Operations Services, and Disneyland Guest Services, the County of Los Angeles, The County of Los Angeles Department of Public Works, the County of Los Angeles Department of Agricultural Commissioner/Weights and Measures (or any other entity of any sort) who will, intentionally or not, directly or not, use the CONTENT contained within this DOCUMENT against KEN PELLMAN for any sort of formal or informal RETALIATION, or to demote KEN PELLMAN or deny KEN PELLMAN any sort of transfer, promotion, contract, or employment, or in any way, shape, or form STORE AND/OR SHARE this DOCUMENT in any form, in total or in portion for such purposes, or will, intentionally or otherwise, in any way STORE AND/OR SHARE this DOCUMENT with, to, or for any person, entity, or agent who is such or will do so. If YOU are such an individual who has been presented any of this DOCUMENT in any form or part, you will completely and thoroughly destroy and/or erase YOUR copy and not, in any way, shape, or form, STORE AND/OR SHARE this DOCUMENT in total or in part to or with any other entity.
4. YOU may only: download one copy of the DOCUMENT on any single computer for your personal, private, non-commercial use only, provided you keep intact and unaltered all copyright and other propriety information and have agreed to and will abide by and will not violate this AGREEMENT or any of the provisions, clauses, phrases, or portions of it in any way.
5. KEN PELLMAN is not a party to any conspiracy regarding the number of hot dog buns in a package in comparison to the number of hot dogs in a package, nor will he reveal the secret formula for Coca-Cola Classic.
6. YOU are not disturbed, offended, upset, or otherwise harmed by controversial, cynical, optimistic, pessimistic, philosophical, political, promotional, religious, satirical, theological CONTENT, or any aspect or portion of the CONTENT in this DOCUMENT. USING this DOCUMENT does not violate any agreements, contracts, laws, regulations, rules, or the like of your location, your service provider (ISP), the United States of America, the State of California, the County of Los Angeles, the County of Orange, the City of Anaheim, FlashNet Enterprises, Prodigy Communications Corporation, Yahoo!, SBC Yahoo!, AT&T, or whatever the Hell my hosting ISP is calling itself today.
7. The CONTENT of this DOCUMENT, or anything presented by KEN PELLMAN on the Internet, whether in code or otherwise, on the World Wide Web, Weblog, Usenet, E-mail, or other medium or location, unless otherwise noted, is comprised of KEN PELLMAN's personal statements as a private, natural individual, and is not presented on behalf of AT&T, Disney Enterprises, Inc., The Walt Disney Company, The County of Los Angeles, the CIA, the FBI, the IRS, the IRA, the Council on Foreign Relations, the Stonecutters, or any of the affiliates, agents, associates, clients, departments, divisions, partners, protectorates, shareholders, sponsors, subsidiaries, or wards thereof, or any entity that KEN PELLMAN may be or may have been associated with in any form or may have mentioned.
8. YOU agree that KEN PELLMAN has every right and freedom to legally and freely, without restriction, present this DOCUMENT and its CONTENT in any and all of the above described forms without actual, tacit, official, formal, informal, organized, planned, or spontaneous RETALIATION in any way, shape, or form. So, if you're trying to get me fired because I take advantage of my rights and freedoms, take a hike.
9. KEN PELLMAN is the copyright holder and the sole owner and sole individual responsible for the CONTENT of this DOCUMENT.
10. In the event YOU USE this DOCUMENT (and YOU have, obviously), the DOCUMENT is licensed to YOU by KEN PELLMAN, for use only in ways and under conditions specified in this AGREEMENT. KEN PELLMAN does not transfer title to the DOCUMENT to YOU. YOU own the medium to which the DOCUMENT is downloaded, but KEN PELLMAN retains full, complete, total, and thorough title to the DOCUMENT, and all intellectual property rights therein.
11. No purchase necessary, but YOU can send money if YOU want. Shoes and a shirt are not required, nor do YOU have to keep YOUR hands, arms, and legs close to the keyboard or even remain seated. Flash photography is not allowed and is pointless anyway. YOU do not need to finish YOUR refreshments before visiting, though KEN PELLMAN does not advise smoking, unhealthy eating habits, or spilling food on YOUR computer.
12. YOU shall not, in any way, alter or damage the source of this DOCUMENT and YOU do agree to comply with and abide by all of the clauses of this entire AGREEMENT fully and completely. Modification or use of the DOCUMENT, including, but not limited to, the source code, for any purpose is a violation of the copyright and other propriety rights. It also pisses KEN PELLMAN off.
13. This AGREEMENT shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of the State of California, without giving effect to any principles of conflicts of law. If any word, phrase, clause, sentence, portion, or provision of this AGREEMENT is found to be unconstitutional, unlawful, illegal, for any reason unenforceable, or otherwise legally null and/or void, then that provision shall be deemed severable from this AGREEMENT and shall not affect the validity and enforceability of any remaining provisions - the remainder of the AGREEMENT shall stand and be binding. This AGREEMENT shall continue to be in effect whether or not every or any violation is noted or consequences persued. This entire AGREEMENT shall not be modified except by KEN PELLMAN at the sole discretion of KEN PELLMAN, or in writing, signed by both parties. KEN PELLMAN knows some really good lawyers.
DISCLAIMERS OF WARRANTY OR GUARANTEE, & LIMITATION OF LIABILITY
14. This DOCUMENT is provided "AS IS" and without warranties of any kind, either express or implied. To the fullest extent permissible pursuant to applicable law, KEN PELLMAN disclaims all warranties and/or guarantees, express or implied, including, but not limited to, implied warranties and/or guarantees of accuracy, merchantability, humor, and fitness for a particular purpose. KEN PELLMAN does not warrant that the functions contained in the DOCUMENT will be available, uninterrupted or error-free, that defects will be corrected, or that this DOCUMENT or the server that makes it available are free of viruses or other harmful components. KEN PELLMAN does not warrant or make any representations regarding the use or the results of the use of this DOCUMENT in terms of its correctness, accuracy, reliability, or otherwise YOU (and not KEN PELLMAN) assume the entire cost of all necessary or subsequent processing, servicing, repair, therapy, or correction.
15. YOU, the person USING this DOCUMENT, and not KEN PELLMAN, take complete, full, thorough, and total responsibility for any unwanted, harmful, or negative effects of USING this DOCUMENT. KEN PELLMAN is not responsible in any way for any damage or injury of any sort resulting from using this DOCUMENT in any form through any medium, and neither YOU, nor any entity on YOUR behalf, nor any entity that YOU represent will hold KEN PELLMAN, FlashNet Enterprises, Prodigy Communications Corporation, or SBC Yahoo! liable or responsible in any way for any such damage or injury, including, but not limited to, real, actual, temporary, permanent, or perceived damage or injury. So, don't blame Ken if your computer freezes up a week after visiting this.
16. KEN PELLMAN is not responsible for lost, stolen, damaged, or destroyed items, or the strange voices in your head.
17. Unless otherwise specified in writing by KEN PELLMAN, this DOCUMENT is presented solely for the purpose of entertainment, information, and promoting the services of KEN PELLMAN, which are available in the United States, its territories, possessions, and protectorates. This DOCUMENT is controlled and operated by KEN PELLMAN from HIS home and office within the State of California, United States of America. KEN PELLMAN makes no representation that this DOCUMENT is appropriate or available for use in other locations. Those who choose to access this DOCUMENT from other locations do so on their own initiative and are responsible for compliance with local laws, if and to the extent local laws are applicable. Software from this DOCUMENT is further subject to United States export controls. No software from this DOCUMENT, nor the DOCUMENT itself, may be downloaded or otherwise exported or re-exported (i) into (or to a national or resident of) any country to which the U.S. has embargoed goods; or (ii) to anyone on the U.S. Treasury Department's list of Specially Designated Nationals or the U.S. Commerce Department's Table of Deny Orders. By downloading or USING the Software or DOCUMENT, YOU represent and warrant that YOU are not located in, under the control of, or a national or resident of any such country or person, or on any such list. Sorry, Fidel.
CONSEQUENCES FOR VIOLATION OF AGREEMENT
18. YOU shall be held civilly, criminally, financially, legally, morally, spiritually, and socially responsible in the event that YOU violate or breach this AGREEMENT of any provision thereof in any way. You shall accept responsibility for any damages resulting from a violation or breach of the AGREEMENT on your part, and accept any punishment or judgement in such an event. Any AGENT YOU represent shall also be held responsible. YOU shall also issue a public, written apology in such an event which KEN PELLMAN shall retain and publish at will, and use at HIS discretion. Experiencing such consequences shall not exclude YOU from additional or repeated consequences should YOU violate this AGREEMENT again. So there!
19. YOU agree to clean all of the restrooms in Grand Central Station with YOUR tongue if YOU are found to be in violation of this AGREEMENT, though that shall not be considered the full extent of punitive damages. YOUR tongue must still be attached naturally to YOU, and no narcotics or numbing chemicals will be allowed to minimize YOUR discomfort in completing such a task. In the event that YOUR tongue is not still naturally attached, YOU agree to stick lighted cigars in YOUR open eyes and listen to polka music for twenty-four (24) continuous hours. YOU are still reading this? Wow… okay, almost done…
TERMINATION OF AGREEMENT
20. This AGREEMENT is effective until terminated by either party. YOU may terminate this AGREEMENT at any time by destroying all materials obtained from any and all of KEN PELLMAN's sites, including, but not limited to, this DOCUMENT, and all related documentation and all copies and installations thereof, whether made under the terms of this AGREEMENT or otherwise. This AGREEMENT shall terminate immediately without notice from KEN PELLMAN if in HIS sole discretion YOU fail to comply with any term or provision of this AGREEMENT. Upon termination, YOU must destroy all materials obtained from this DOCUMENT and all copies thereof, whether made under the terms of this AGREEMENT or otherwise. Please dispose of items responsibly. That wasn't so bad, now was it? Now memorize this all before YOU USE MY DOCUMENT. Okay, just as long as YOU agree to it all, YOU don't have to memorize it. Enjoy!
http://pellman.blogspot.com/p/legal-mumbo-jumbo.html | kpellman[AT]flash[DOT]net | Disclaimer | Ken's Very Own Piece of the Web™ | All clauses listed above in the AGREEMENT shall also apply to the AGREEMENT.